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Voyages of the Damn Foole
We jibed away and made for the Misery Islands off the shores of Pride's Crossing. When we arrived I drove the boat up on the beach of Great Misery on the run. The sails held it on shore as I ran the anchor line up the beach to a stout piece of driftwood. The boat banged around a while on the rocky beach until the tide receded and left it alone. The island was mine! I took off my shoes and perched them on a prominent rock, officially taking possession. "I'm going to explore the island," I told the boat.
"To find plunder and slaves," the boat added.
Of course I'll Christianize the poor devils, and the plunder will be used to advance civilization." I marched inland over the rocks and rolling hills, through the groves of trees and past the dense underbrush. "Everything here is mine," I kept reminding myself greedily. The birds sang cheerfully. The flowers breathed their fragrances. The vegetation reflected the sun's heat. I was ignored and left to ponder why it was called Misery Island.
I returned to the boat and was immediately asked "Where's the plunder? Where are the slaves?"
"There aren't any," I told the boat. "All the slaves have gone ashore long ago into the towns to sell the plunder in the stores and specialty shops."
"You're a fine example of humanity, can't even pillage and plunder properly," the boat said. "Let's get afloat, it's too fine a day to spend on land."
--From "The Townie and the Damn Foole"
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