The Dog Rules: (Damn Near Everything) - Softcover

Thomas, William J.

3.72

46 ratings by Goodreads

9781591021308: The Dog Rules: (Damn Near Everything)

Softcover

ISBN 10: 1591021308 ISBN 13: 9781591021308

Publisher: Prometheus, 2003

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So begins a beautiful friendship between man and dog, in this case between writer/syndicated humor columnist William J. Thomas and his Border Collie/Australian Shepherd Jake. With great wit and obvious devotion Thomas chronicles his rocky relationship with the "slightly food aggressive" and highly independent-minded Jake.
Once a cat person and the author of the bestseller Life in the Litter Box, Thomas explains: "Training a cat was easy. You gave the cat an order, the cat gave you the finger, end of training session. But you give a dog an order and he wags his tail and wiggles his bum and you say to yourself - I got a shot here!"
The Dog Rules go something like this:
The dog never goes in the house; that's why we paid $250 for the doghouse.
Unless it's his birthday, really cold outside, really hot outside, really dark outside.
Okay, the dog can live in the house and we'll sell the doghouse to a rookie dog owner who doesn't know the rules.
But the dog never goes on the furniture. All right, maybe the old furniture.
Okay, the dog can go on the new furniture until it looks like the old furniture, then we'll sell all the bloody furniture with the doghouse in a two-for-one deal.
For every dog owner who's ever wondered who's got whom on the leash, The Dog Rules provides many hysterically funny stories that all dog owners will immediately (and unfortunately) recognize.

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About the Author:

William J. Thomas (Wainfleet, Ontario), a nationally syndicated humor columnist in Canada, is the author of seven books and an award-winning writer of television movies.

From School Library Journal:

Adult/High School-Comical experiences are chronicled with campy, intermittent "The Dog Rules" lists. Thomas and his canine pal Jake's adventures started the day the duo drove from the doggie foster home to set up housekeeping near Toronto. Jake slyly encroached upon the author's turf. With intentions of harmonious cohabitation, Thomas exercised his people power and writing ability by creating rules for every occasion. They came in batches of 10, but realistic contradictions occurred after the second rule until the dog assumed the upper paw. For instance, topping "The Dog Rules as They Apply to the Family Car" list is, "Dogs are not allowed to travel in motorized vehicles. Period." The second rule is a bit relenting: "Okay, a seeing-eye dog is allowed to travel in a vehicle with its owner provided that the owner is not the operator of the said vehicle." By number 10, resolve is shot, humor reigns, and the dog rules: e.g., "Okay, the dog can drive at night by himself, but not if he's been drinking. No way. That's against the law." Black-and-white cartoons scattered throughout the book punctuate the absurdity of the author/artist's attempt to be a master. A quick and fun read for teens who are true pet lovers, and who appreciate witty storytelling.
Karen Sokol, Fairfax County Public Schools, VA
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