Make Up Don't Break Up - Hardcover

Bonnie Eaker Weil

3.74

77 ratings by Goodreads

Hardcover

ISBN 10: 1580621635 ISBN 13: 9781580621632

Publisher: Adams Media Corp, 1999

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An essential guide to relationships gives advice on everything from how to keep a failing relationship going to how to revitalize a relationship that has grown boring or stagnant.

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Review:

There are many "potholes on the road to love," says therapist Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., who stresses that despite the heady emotions involved, loving is a skill that needs to be learned: "It's very easy to 'fall' in love, but very few people know how to stay in love." Weil teaches "Smart Heart Skills" to strengthen a relationship when you're tempted to abandon it. You learn how to "connect, disconnect, and reconnect" with your partner.

This book has plenty of substance. Weil describes the typical problems that couples experience, explains what's going on and why, and teaches skills to overcome those problems. For example, are you a Pursuer or a Distancer? How about your partner? What can you do to ease the other's fears and create a healthy bond? How can you "fight fair"? Why is it important to do family-of-origin work? Frequent tips, self-tests, dialogues, case studies, and the author's personal stories make the information easy to read and absorb. And if you think you have a history of awful dates, wait until you read the author's horror stories!

Although more than 60 percent of modern marriages end in divorce, Weil claims that 98 percent of the couples who learn and use her program make up instead of break up. And 98 percent of her single patients who learn these tools end up in love and marrying, usually within a year or two. This book is endorsed by two relationship biggies: Harville Hendrix and John Gray. --Joan Price

From the Inside Flap:

In Makeup, Don't Break Up, Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, one of America's best-know relationship therapists, takes you step-by-step through a new understanding of relationship - the mysterious process of connecting, disconnecting, and reconnecting - to help you find and keep the lasting love you want.

Dr. Weil's approach turns the conventional wisdom on finding and sustaining love upside down:
- Men and women are more alike than different in their needs for love and intimacy
- Women should make the first move most of the time
- Understanding and recovering your relationship with your parents is an essential step in finding and keeping love
- Communication isn't everything - you can talk a relationship to death!

Dr. Weil offers invaluable advice on how to "wake up" from complacency or ambivalence, "shake up" your relationship is you've been taken for granted, and turn unexpected rough "shake ups" into "make ups." Her unconventional method of creating a temporary "break up" helps couples consciously commit to each other and cement their relationship.

Her success rate is phenomenal - 98 percent of the couples she works with stay together. "I can save almost any relationship," she says, "if I'm given a chance and the people involved are willing." Falling in love is easy - staying in love is hard! That's exactly what Make Up, Don't Break Up will help you do - and the best time to start is now!

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