X-Calibre: The Absurd Legend of Cantiger the Wizard - Softcover

Mark F. Parker

3.5

6 ratings by Goodreads

9780786708024: X-Calibre: The Absurd Legend of Cantiger the Wizard

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0786708026 ISBN 13: 9780786708024

Publisher: Carroll & Graf, 2000

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Comic fantasy collides with Arthurian legend in a riotous romp through the myths and mists of medieval Britain. A sorcerer's apprentice named Cantiger strives earnestly to master his profession in this rollicking, zany tale of medieval adventure. Instead he proves himself to be a most hapless conjurer, first stealing a magic spell from the seductive enchantress Garnish and then, quite by accident, bestowing a serpent's head upon her. Garnish is not pleased, and the bungling Cantiger spends the rest of this comic caper trying to escape her formidable wrath. Along his hilarious path to triumphant absurdity, the clueless Cantiger is not abetted by the host of unsavory creatures he encounters, be they macho warlords or comely witches, giants or dwarfs. He does, however, find an unlikely ally in the Laidly Worm, a ruthless reptile with an inordinate appetite for clotted cream and dishy damsels, who does not fail to burst wildly into action in the nick of time. Of course, this tale of wacky wizardry also features a large stone, a sword, and a hero who is the legendarily rightful heir to the throne of Loonis. Advance praise for X-Calibre: "At last, the real story can be told in everyday language a child of ten could understand - and without any rhymes. Of course, it will take a genius to get all the jokes." - Alfred Lord Tennyson, author of Idylls of the King

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From Publishers Weekly:

Parker has chosen the too-well-trodden ground of Arthurian legend for his first original novel (he's published numerous TV novelizations). Incompetent wizard Cantiger is caught stealing spells from a sorceress named (for no apparent reason) Garnish. While escaping, he confuses his spells and gives Garnish a serpent head, earning her eternal enmity. In the meantime, Garnish's school friend and fellow sorceress Princess Marina Lamaya of Logris schemes to kill her father and take his throne. Unfortunately, a great stone sarsen appears on the lawn to skew her plans; carved into its surface are the fateful words, "Whosoever removeth this stone from this patch of grass is rightwise king or queen odAsod itAofALogris." Fortunately, Cantiger uncovers the sword "X-Calibre" from a soggy marsh and gives it to his conveniently met traveling companion, Orson, the youthful foster son of a minor lord. Orson is able to move the stone, but cannot wed Queen Marina when his parentage is revealed, for he is her brother. For all Parker's attempts to mimic the insane irony of Monty Python's Holy Grail or the wry tone (and pithy footnotes) of Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels, his book fails as both humor and fantasy. The characters never rise above caricature, the plot doesn't make much sense and the writing is bland. Sales may get some boost, especially in the college market, from comparison to the above-mentioned authors, and by appealing to fans of Arthurian legends and the absurd, but don't expect much. (Oct.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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