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Thankfully, Gootman avoids gimmicky solutions. Instead, she begins her comprehensive guide with an eloquent argument against spanking. Then, she invites parents to revisit common discipline pitfalls--food fights, jumping on the bed, feuding siblings, dogs who eat homework, toddler or teen tantrums, four-letter words, and white lies--as teachable moments. Gootman's smart strategies--including "low-key discipline," limit setting, encouragement rather than praise, problem solving, and using consequences instead of punishment--enable parents to teach children to avoid repeating their mistakes.
The author's thoughtful approach explores a dozen reasons why kids misbehave along with provocative insights about how parents can examine their past baggage and harness the anger triggered by discipline dustups. The wisdom of Gootman's approach is summed up in her suggestion that discipline is something parents do with children, rather than to them. --Barbara Mackoff
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