Joe Eszterhas grew up in refugee camps and then in America’s back alleys. He worked as a police reporter, racing the cops to robberies and shootings. He interviewed and wrote about mass murders and serial killers. He wrote dark, sexually graphic, and violent films like Basic Instinct, Jagged Edge, and Jade.
Eszterhas knew a lot about darkness. Then, on a hellishly hot day in 2001, desperately battling to survive throat cancer and his addictions to alcohol and cigarettes, Joe Eszterhas found God. Or God found him.
And he came from darkness into light.
Crossbearer is the powerful, poignant, and sometimes wryly humorous account of a streetwise and cynical man’s newfound faith, and of how he discovers God in the most intimate and routine moments of life: a family game of baseball, a child’s photograph of a cloud, a dying mother’s dying roses.
It is also the inspiring story of a man who must overcome his addictions to stay alive—and can’t by himself. He realizes that he needs the love of his wife, his children, and especially his new friend, God, to do it.
Eszterhas is a master memoirist—his Hollywood Animal was called “powerful and affecting” (The New York Times), “absolutely first-rate” (Los Angeles Times Book Review) and “heartbreaking, funny and outrageous” (Houston Chronicle)—and with Crossbearer he reveals a fresh and completely unexpected new chapter of his life.
With surprising tenderness and a willingness to bare even weaknesses and mistakes, Joe Eszterhas has written a startling personal story about faith, values, family and love.
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Joe Eszterhas has written the screenplays for sixteen films that have made more than a billion dollars at the box office. Among them are Basic Instinct, Jagged Edge, Flashdance and Showgirls. A former senior editor at Rolling Stone, he is the author of five previous books—the second, Charlie Simpson’s Apocalypse, was nominated for the National Book Award. The father of seven children, he lives with his wife, Naomi, and their four sons in Bainbridge Township, Ohio.
“I didn’t even really know how to pray...Part of it was that I felt myself to be presuming God’s favor in our new relationship. I thought to myself: Yeah, right, I reject Him so long ago, and then, after forty years of not just ignoring Him but of trashing Him in my writings, I’m suddenly back and talking to Hi as though nothing had interrupted our relationship, saying ‘How ya doin’, God? Haven’t seen you in a while—what up? Everything cool?...’
And now here I was trying to speak to the God whom I had marginalized and mocked and lampooned. How do you approach someone to whom you’ve done that? I didn’t know what to say, so one of the first things I said was ‘I’m sorry. I’ve acted like a colossal A-hole. I’m really, really sorry. I don’t deserve to be forgiven, but please try to forgive me.’”
—from Crossbearer
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